


If "ifs" and "ans" were pots and pans

by NiennaNir



Series: Love and Other Nursery Tales [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Kid Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-18
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-26 03:23:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2636210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiennaNir/pseuds/NiennaNir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone with a problem ends up in Tony's lab eventually. Of course, unless your problem runs on some form of electricity a solution may or may not be forthcoming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If "ifs" and "ans" were pots and pans

“I don’t want to go to Columbia,” Jamie whined, swinging his feet back and forth as he sat on the lab bench, sinewy limbs splayed out with the natural awkwardness of adolescence. His fingers curled around the edge of the bench between his knees and he leaned forward precariously, frowning at the floor.

“Philips,” Tony snapped, his hand appearing from underneath the Hulk-buster armor. Jamie rolled his eyes, swiping the screwdriver off of the bench and slapping it into Tony’s palm.

“Their labs aren’t even half as good as yours,” the boy continued, looking supremely put out. “I don’t understand why I can’t go to Cal Tech.”

“Seriously?” Tony asked with no small amount of incredulity, his hair and eyes peering out from under the dorsal plating. “You can’t figure out why your old man won’t let his seventeen year old go to college on the other side of the country?”

“Oh come on, Tony,” Jamie huffed, rolling his head back to stare up at the ceiling. For a moment he looked like Clint and Tony made a face, crawling back under the chest cavity of the armor. “It’s been like, eight years since Hydra’s tried to make a move on me. They’ve probably forgot I even exist by now.”

“Please tell me you’re not that dumb,” Tony pleaded, peering out from under the armor at him again. “because I thought we raised you better than that.”

“Can I at least go to MIT?” Jamie cajoled. “You could be there in the suit in like, three minutes max.”

“Hell no!” Tony snapped, holding out his hand. “1/2 inch box.”

“You went to MIT,” Jamie pointed out, handing him the wrench.

“Why in the name if hell do you think I don’t want you going there?” Tony demanded, making a repulsed face at him. “Get over it sunshine, you’re not living on campus. You’re taking the limo to your classes for the next four years like a normal over-privileged teenager.”

“Why do I have to go at all then?” Jamie growled, his lip protruding in a pout. “I’d rather stay here, I’d learn more from you anyway.”

“Touching,” Tony declared condescendingly. “Why would I let you hang around my lab all day when all you do is hold down my workbench?” Jamie narrowed his eyes before rolling off the bench and folding his legs in front of him as he grabbed a screwdriver from the floor and set to work on one of the dorsal panels. They worked in silence, the only sound the soft clink of tools against the titanium armor and the sizzle of the soldering iron.

“You going to tell me what your real problem is, small-fry?” Tony asked finally.

“Dad has me signed up for all these management classes,” Jamie confessed, worrying his lower lip. “I mean, I know I can’t take all engineering classes, but I know what he’s trying to do, he wants me to be like Phil. And there’s nothing wrong with Phil, he’s awesome. But I don’t want to be on the sidelines, I want to be in the middle of stuff like you and Dad.” Tony leaned around the suit, staring at him with wide eyes.

“No,” he said firmly.

“Come on, Tony,” Jamie pleaded. “You’re not… well you’re not exactly young any more. I mean, you’re older than Clint and he has that kid, Kate, he’s been training.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” Tony replied, darkly. “Because if you’d actually said that out loud to my face I’d disown you.”

“I’ve been helping you work on the suits since I was seven,” Jamie added. “Nobody knows them better than me!”

“I know them better than you,” Tony barked out at him, climbing to his feet and stalking toward the fridge in the corner.

“You really don’t,” Jamie insisted doggedly, scrambling after him. “Because you don’t sleep and then you forget stuff like that time you went on that science binge and you forgot you put heat seeking mini missiles in your boots!” Tony pulled a coke out of the fridge, popping it open with a funny half smile.

“Good times,” he acknowledged, shaking his head.

“I’m as tall as you!” Jamie added, stalking up behind him. Tony turned, his eyes level with the boy’s and he cocked his head to the side.

“Aren’t you just,” he said fondly, his hand settling on the back of Jamie’s neck. “How did you grow up so fast, runt?”

“I’m not a kid any more,” Jamie gave him a pleading look.

“No you’re not,” Tony sighed, his smile softening. “Pipsqueak, there is no universe in which you’re climbing into one of my suits unless it’s over my cold, dead body.”

“You can’t possibly be afraid of Dad!” Jamie huffed in exasperation as Tony side stepped around him. “He has absolutely no room to talk!”

“See this is why you can’t get in the suit,” Tony spun on his foot, walking backward a handful of paces as he pointed at the boy. “You’re confusing sense for fear. The last worry on my mind is what Spangles would say. Because I can tell you exactly what he’d say, or rather not say because he’d sit around for three weeks brooding and giving me the silent treatment and frankly that’s only an incentive.”

“Well Clint and Phil,” Jamie shook his head.

“Clint would punch me and then he’d be over it ten minutes later,” Tony declared, collapsing on his lab stool and spinning in a circle before pulling up one of his schematics. “And okay, Phil would not be happy but he’s not stupid, he knows the safest place in the world for idiot Rogers boys is inside a state of the art suit of armor. No.”

“Then what’s the big deal?” Jamie demanded, turing to look longingly at the row of suits along the wall.

“Natasha,” Tony stated seriously, rolling up to the boy with a frown. “Natasha will come into my room in the middle of the night and kill me stone dead with a pair of nylons and then hang my body on the side of the tower as a warning to others.” Jamie opened his mouth to reply but whatever argument he intended to offer instantly lost traction and his jaw snapped shut, his shoulders slumping as he tromped back to the Hulk-buster, climbing back up on the bench and attacking the gauntlet with a ratchet wrench. Tony watched him as he carefully disassembled the repulser from the palm.

“Look, I get it, kid,” Tony said sympathetically, crossing the room to stand in front of the boy. “believe it or not I completely understand. You have some scores to settle. You’re brilliant, you could be a great engineer. You could be a great Iron Man, not the easiest thing for me to say, and if I’m honest, I probably feel like you’re safer inside the suit than out of it. But I’m not going to talk your old man into letting you hang around here instead of going to college, and I’m not giving you a suit.”

“What about what I want?” Jamie asked miserably, tossing the gauntlet aside and turning a pleading look on Tony. “You’ve all told me my whole life that I could choose, that it was my life, that I could be what I want.” Tony stared at him in silence for a long moment, his eyes half narrowed.

“Jarvis, lock down the lab,” Tony said finally with a sigh. Jamie’s eyes widened in surprise and delight but Tony shook his head sharply, grasping the boy’s arm as he shifted to hop down from his perch. “Just sit there and listen. I’m going to tell you something that I promised not to discuss with you yet so if you say a word to Phil or your father I swear to god it will be the last time you ever set foot in this lab.”

“Okay,” Jamie replied cautiously. Tony drew in a long slow breath, his brow knitting in an inscrutable expression as his eyes met Jamie’s.

“I never wanted kids,” He declared eventually. “I… I’ve watched your old man do the dad gig for the last eleven years and I’m convinced it was one of the best decision I ever made. I am not cut out for it. I’ve really enjoyed the whole uncle thing, but I am not parent material.

“You’re a good uncle,” Jamie insisted with a warm smile.

“Shut up,” Tony said drily. Jamie bit his lip to stifle his laugh. “the only thing that bothered me was what was going to happen when I was gone. And it’s not just the Avengers. There are a lot of people that rely on the Stark name to put food on the table, and I owe them. I owe the Avengers and I owe the employees.” He seemed to be looking for something, searching the blue eyes before him and Jamie nodded, unsure what to say in reply.

“I’m leaving this whole mess to you kid,” Tony announced. “Stark Industries, my personal assets, everything.”

“Me?” Jamie’s eyes grew to twice their normal size. “Why would you…” his voice choked off in stunned realization at just what 'everything' entailed.

“You are one of the best men I know, sunshine,” Tony declared with conviction, ruffling Jamie’s hair. “That’s why you’re taking those management classes. Your Aunt Pepper holds the trust and she’s not going to turn operational control over to a moron who can’t read a stock report. So it’s your call, kid. You can do what you want, or you can go to Columbia and take the classes Pep says you take and all this can be yours.” Jamie’s gaze circled the lab, his eyes blinking slowly as if he were only now seeing it for the fort time. He stopped at the Iron Man suits in their neat row behind safety glass.

“Product distribution assessment could be interesting,” Jamie conceded, nodding slowly.

“When they’re your suits you can do what you want with them,” Tony stated, pulling his attention back. “But right now, they’re still mine.” Jamie gave him a shy, half ornery smile and Tony let out a snort of a laugh, wrapping his arms around the boy as Jamie hugged him back.

“Do me a favor,” Tony said softly. Jamie nodded against his shoulder. “Look out for your old man. I don’t mean keep him safe, don’t do that. I mean make sure he doesn’t end up doing this alone, okay?” Jamie nodded again and Tony kissed the top of his head before pulling away.

“I still don’t want to go to Columbia,” Jamie admitted.

“Yeah, yeah, cry me a river,” Tony replied, sweeping up his soldering iron and crawling back under the Hulk-buster. “if you think you’re learning so much here you can strip down the Mark 180.” Jamie nodded, sliding off the bench, his fingers curling around a screwdriver almost on reflex. He tumbled onto one of the stools at the next bench, setting in to disassemble the armor.

“You know,” he said after a long moment of silence. “The Stark OS built in software works pretty seamlessly with the audio interface software the way it is but I was thinking it would be nice if there was more intelligent interaction.”

“The phone’s aren’t as smart as Jarvis,” Tony pointed out, but he was nodding.

“No but they wouldn’t have to be,” Jamie replied with a shrug. “They’d just have to be as smart as a five year old. The matrix would be less complex, easier to fit on the small hard drive.”

“That’d be a bit of programing,” Tony conceded.

“Yeah,” Jamie nodded.

“Yeah,” Tony flashed him a smile before crawling back under the Hulk-buster.

**  
  
**


End file.
